so theres this boy...

and i don't know why on earth i like him so much, i just do. He's not like any of the guys that i'v gone for before, he's younger, umm, he actually likes me back, he almost kissed me, and all his friends know about me, i want to be with him, but yet i cant. His parents would never approve, because they are supper LDS, and i don't know, i don't even want a boyfriend, but would it be the worst thing in the world to have one? and because of all the other stuff thats going on right now, i think it would make it totally wired, and like were telling everyone that we're lovers, and it started out as just a joke, but i don't know where it's going to go form here, why do i have to like him so much, i think i might have found my good guy, so why can't i just take him, haha, I'm so stupid when it comes to matters of the heart.

ok, so i dont even think that anyone will read this, but i'm writing anyways. I have a lot of stuff on my mind, even tho it is jsut dumb teenage girl stuff, it's still here, eating away at me. So my school just had it's prom, and i didnt get asked of cours, every one is saying "dont worrie about it, it's jsut your sophmore year", but still, it thought that it would have been fun to go, so i was sorta bumed about that. But i'm really excited becuse i'm going to anthore schools prom, but the resion that i like it most is becuse i get to rub it in all the guy's faces, the ones that dident even ask me to my own prom, they get all sad. Some people think that that may jsut be evil, but you know, i was getting upset when guys found out that i dident get asked, they just said "oh, well, i figured that someone else would ask you" i was like what the freak ever! you did not think that, jsut be a man and say so, you know. Ok so then for awile i really liked this one kid, and he liked me back, so he would always play with my feet in that class, but then the other day this kid bascially delcared is umdieing love for me, and now all they do is jsut compete for me, and i'm not that even good of a prize, besides once one of them got me, i dont think that he would even whant me, becuse the only resion that they are both going after me is becuse the other one whants me. but they always have to out do eachother, and i get so sick of it. i'm so sick of it that i dont even like Rayn anymore, but like he was trying it grab my hand one day, and the other one totally tried to out do him, and disrtact me, i dont whant thise guys to like me, it was better when we were all jstu friends, why cant they see this, but anyways i was already getting fed up with Ryan, becuse he knew that i liked him, and he was jsut stringing my hreat along, and i hate it when people play with my hreat, this is why i never whant a boy friend, i dont have one, and i already have so many guy porblems, it's not fair, since when am i the girl they all like, i dont whant to be that girl, becuse if i do what mackes me happy, then i will hurt someone else, and then i wont be happy anymore, but sometimes it is ok to play with guys minds, like when i tell them that i', going to Tucans prom, i'm laughing in side, becuse now they know how i felt! haha i am not that evil, but the fact that they cant confess that they should have asked, insead of acting like it was someone else fault for not takeing me, oh i hate it, i dont whant thise porblems, i'm only 15 i dont whant a boyfriend, so why do i stress so much over this, i'm not getting any sleep, cuse i lay awake trying to figure out what to do! but hey is you are still reading this, then a congratrs is in oder, becuse if i was someone else reading this, i would have said screw this a long time ago, haha
-Katie

This weekend

This weekend was so much fun!!! i was haning out with the Montgomery's for almost the hole weekend, i had so much fun. I just like being with them, we wachted movies, i spent the night, we wnet to St, Gorge, it was just a blast. Thnaks you guys, its weekends like this that makes me just happy to be here. Jill, and Jared, i love haning out will you both!

How I really feel

Its been awhile since I was on here, I just feel like crap. I feel like I cant tell anyone how I feel, eventhough I know that there are tonz I could talk to. I am going crazy, I feel like a failure. I want someone to like me, I know that wont fix anything but I just wont to know that someone is thinking about me, I wont someone to think I am more then just the advirge girl, I want to turn atlest one head. I don't want a boyfriend, just someone that thinks about me like that. I want my parents to always be proud of me. I don't want my brothers to be embrised of me, I want to be truly happy, people think that I am, but that is just because I put on an act, I am not happy, but I don't know what I can do to fix it. People think that they know me, they tell that I am laying when I tell them something personal, so I just keep it to my self, sometimes I think bad thoughts, like what it would be like to not live anymore, I will never do anything about those thoughts, but I do have them. And if you read this and you are worried, don't be. And if you read this and you are not worried, and think that I am just dumb, then good for you, because I am just that girl nobody really knows.

Ok so i know that this might sound corney, but whatever. Do you ever like someone so much that whenever you see them you can feel your self blush, or you just want to run up and hug them, but you just cant? Becuse you know that they dont like you that way. And you know this becuse he flirts with this one gril right in front of your face, but he will tease you becuse sometimes he acts like he likes you, but you know that he really dosent. And it dosent help that the girl he is frilting with is a girl that you dont really like, but you talk to her so that you can be close to him. And this girl is the type to brake pepole up just so she can have it her way, and you are pretty shure that the only resion she is frlitring with this guy is becuse she knows you like him. But she can get any guy that she wants becuse she is prety and has every thing that a guy would want in a girl. And when she is not their he will talk to you, but when she comes she will just still him away. And even though you like him so much, you know that you can never have him, becuse she has marked her teritroy! Well i really know that feeling! But hey, more guys will come my way, hopefully.
-Kaite

Confused

Do you ever just feel confused, I do all the time. I don't even know what I am confused about! Because nothing ever happens to me. I have I good life, but their are a few things that I would Chang right now, like everything that is going on with my grandpa, but I just want it all to go away. And I am always feeling pain, but I don't know why because I live a simple life. And I am sorry about all of my complying, I do it all the time. -Katie

My B-day!

It's finally my birthday today, but I don't feel any older. But I really wish that this had been my 16 birthday, because then I could acutally work, because I cant run some of the things at DQ, but when I turn 16 then I can run everything! But I am happy that I am 15!
-Katie